Inner Dance in Town and Country Magazine, Philippine Edition (August Issue)
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Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Inner Dance; The Experience of The inner dancer, The initiation
From the every 1st inner dance experience till today, it has been an amazing process for me. I'm really grateful for it all.
I came to the first Inner Dance in this year March 15, when I was facing some challenges, coping with what had happened in my life. The energy of the Inner Dance that I experienced is Pure Love, so strong yet so gentle, which melts away all resistance and releases negative emotions and tensions that are stored in my being and created a sacred space within me.
On the other hand, it had opened up my sensitivity, which had also presented as a challenge too. I was so opened and sensitive that I was fearful of the energies around me. I began slowly learning to balance the inner experience with life on the outside. It wasn't easy though as I began. It's like learning a new skill.
That which is call 'dance' didn't even feel or look like one in the beginning. I was jerking clumsily and my arms were stiff and didn't move at all. When they moved the next day after my 1st Inner Dance experiential workshop, the movements are somewhat jerky and uncontrollably wild.
Pi's partner Daniw, shared with me her own experiences and taught me to communicate with the energy, telling it to be gentle to me. I tried a few times but couldn't get it, although slowly it became gentler. Since then, I thought about her words- communicating with the energy, but how? I don't know so I 'Keep-In-View' in this moment.
When Pi, the founder of Inner Dance, went back to Philippines, the group of Inner Dancers meet regularly for practice and I joined them. I also practice it on my own, on and off, at home, while traveling, any time of day and night when I can feel the energy.
When Pi came to Singapore again in May, I went for his workshop. That time, I felt even more attuned to the Inner Dance's energy and it helped me to better integrate with it, and again I felt Pi's presence is like a power house, sending out healing energy in waves.
Weeks ago, I attended one musical performance from Temple of Fine Arts called Damaru. Many different types of drums and musical instruments were used. During certain parts of the performance, I again had emotional released, and was crying in the theater. It felt like a past-life thing which I don't understand consciously. Throughout the 3 hrs performance, I was dancing in my seat and the Indian man next to me thought I was a dancer. Then I explained to him about Inner Dance.
Now in Sept, Pi is in Singapore. I went to the group session 4 days ago and again I experienced emotional released and alignment of my body, the inner understanding that Inner Dance is also a soul language through the body.
In that session, as again, a lot of energy was flowing through me, so warm, I felt like releasing the tension in my spine. So I just went into the Yoga Pose call the Wheel, which I had avoided for a long time as doctor told me to after I had a minor accident. But I felt my body needed it, and was re-aligned after that.
There were moments that my logic-mind interfered and I couldn't relax. When I ask myself to relax and just watch, I had a taste of what the body is conveying through the movements; a message that either connects with an emotion or an image in my mind and felt like communication going on. I heard within me saying 'Soul Language' .
Yet, I was resisting going too deep into my being. I didn't want a catharsis, which I had a major one the 1st time. I didn't want to be a crying baby for I cried too much already, and refuse to face the breaking moments again. I resisted healing and opened my eyes. The moment I stared up the ceiling, unexpectedly, I broke down and cry.
In the process, I was crying for forgiveness. Support and help was given to me while the release in me was going on. For a while I was weeping, Catherine came to me with her hands on as she begins her light language, but I didn't know who was that at first, for a few others like Daniw came and help me on different occasions.
And a strange feeling arose within me as I heard her speak. It was as if I understood her language and accepted her message which sounded like an Angel's consolation and advice to me. After that session, I felt blank again, like usual, and somewhat dumbfounded when it's time for sharing, though I had much to share. Words runs through my head yet nothing comes out from my mouth.
2 days later after that session, I had a realization.
The mistakes I made, the sinner I felt I was, trails of sins I felt carried from past-lives has weighed on me. I have been going through self-condemnation, self-punishment, self-sabotage.
As usual, I was applying essential oils. While I was saying some releasing statements of forgiveness, I came into a meditative state.
I heard within me saying that the mistakes I have made is for me to learn to be on the right path. Not exactly the usual judgmental of morally right and wrong which sets myself up going to the courtroom in my mind every time, but the right path that leads me to my divine self.
I learn spirituality from spiritual teachers, from books, from others' spiritual experience, but it's always so different when the learning happens from within. It's so simple yet so empowering.
From teachers, I was taught to embrace our shadows.
I read that Satan Lucifer is the bringer of Light , but why?
I was taught to reach down into my shadows to reveal my light, but how?
I read from esoteric teachings that: "Hush! it is a great secret, but his name is Yeheswah, and he is the Saviour of the World. Hush, tell nobody ever, that is Satan, and he is the Saviour of the World." Why?
My long term questions have been answered, as I sat;
The shadow is necessary to be there.
In the world of duality, and polarity in nature,
Light cast upon an object and created shadow
The shadow points to the direction of the light.
The mistakes made points to the right path to be taken
I realized I've been in the shadow and trying to run away every time when it's too deep down, too dark. I couldn't bear to stay long enough, that I wasn't able to switch to the light or transmute the dark feelings and thoughts.
And I saw that this 'pain' body- feels the pain;
the personality- drama; and the shadow self- darkness;
all is apart from the pure untainted divine self.
Then my logic mind starts to pray for help to be always connected to divine.
But within me says stop, for its not help that I pray for as the connection is always there.
It's an illusion to perceive that I'm disconnected.
I also realize I had prayed from a place of neediness, of lack, of victim-consciousness, not so much from divine power and understanding. So I learn this time on another level not just from books, It's an affirmative prayer of divine connection.
And that divine is contained within me,
and me in the divine.
As I affirm the divinity within, my arms began to move with the affirmations,
translating the words into movements; inner-dancing,
and it felt like a communication is going on within my different levels.
For once, I had a touch or a taste of I-am-ness. And now I remembered.
Pi was sharing many things about alchemy, transmuting and grounding, and one of them is to ground in the I-am-ness, I am That, I am Divine.
Yesterday, 15 Sept, exactly 6 months from the first Inner Dance session, I had a personal Inner Dance healing session with Pi and Daniw. I had another beautiful experience.
Pi told me its a different approach call Bars, that there will be more feeling of the energy running through, not so much of dancing. I was made to lie down and immediately I felt very strong energy pulsating throughout my whole body as I kept still. So strong yet so comfortable, feels like a spa bath.
As Daniw worked on my head, my arms moved in concerto. I felt the energy are like codes downloading and unlocking my body, while my body decoding it.
The involuntary movements are just as strong as my first Inner Dance experience yet my movements are more intricate this time, and I felt lighter than before. I was tearing as I felt the releasing of tension.
I felt I was in the shady woodlands, surrounded by trees, plants and river flowing nearby. I felt I saw Daniw as a fairy angel with translucent wings, her hands on my head and Pi like a fairy elf of some kind dancing, walking around.
While the energy moved my head and feet, I felt my whole body is coming into a flow of harmony. Toward the end of the session, I was made to sit up. And again the energy so strong yet ever so gentle supported me lovingly in the process.
It was then I had an realization, that I have been living so much of my time in fears. And I felt the understanding that my body is a tool for the divine self to work through it. My arms were dancing this message while tears streamed down my cheeks. There was a sense of reverence and surrender- surrender may not be the right word but close to it, till I find the right word I'll put it as that.
I felt this time was really an initiation for me.
The very first Inner Dance experience that follows was a test prior to this initiation.
This whole experience have been very sacred for me.
And this is only the beginning!
I wanted to thank Pi and Daniw for coming back, and I thank God for them.
I came to the first Inner Dance in this year March 15, when I was facing some challenges, coping with what had happened in my life. The energy of the Inner Dance that I experienced is Pure Love, so strong yet so gentle, which melts away all resistance and releases negative emotions and tensions that are stored in my being and created a sacred space within me.
On the other hand, it had opened up my sensitivity, which had also presented as a challenge too. I was so opened and sensitive that I was fearful of the energies around me. I began slowly learning to balance the inner experience with life on the outside. It wasn't easy though as I began. It's like learning a new skill.
That which is call 'dance' didn't even feel or look like one in the beginning. I was jerking clumsily and my arms were stiff and didn't move at all. When they moved the next day after my 1st Inner Dance experiential workshop, the movements are somewhat jerky and uncontrollably wild.
Pi's partner Daniw, shared with me her own experiences and taught me to communicate with the energy, telling it to be gentle to me. I tried a few times but couldn't get it, although slowly it became gentler. Since then, I thought about her words- communicating with the energy, but how? I don't know so I 'Keep-In-View' in this moment.
When Pi, the founder of Inner Dance, went back to Philippines, the group of Inner Dancers meet regularly for practice and I joined them. I also practice it on my own, on and off, at home, while traveling, any time of day and night when I can feel the energy.
When Pi came to Singapore again in May, I went for his workshop. That time, I felt even more attuned to the Inner Dance's energy and it helped me to better integrate with it, and again I felt Pi's presence is like a power house, sending out healing energy in waves.
Weeks ago, I attended one musical performance from Temple of Fine Arts called Damaru. Many different types of drums and musical instruments were used. During certain parts of the performance, I again had emotional released, and was crying in the theater. It felt like a past-life thing which I don't understand consciously. Throughout the 3 hrs performance, I was dancing in my seat and the Indian man next to me thought I was a dancer. Then I explained to him about Inner Dance.
Now in Sept, Pi is in Singapore. I went to the group session 4 days ago and again I experienced emotional released and alignment of my body, the inner understanding that Inner Dance is also a soul language through the body.
In that session, as again, a lot of energy was flowing through me, so warm, I felt like releasing the tension in my spine. So I just went into the Yoga Pose call the Wheel, which I had avoided for a long time as doctor told me to after I had a minor accident. But I felt my body needed it, and was re-aligned after that.
There were moments that my logic-mind interfered and I couldn't relax. When I ask myself to relax and just watch, I had a taste of what the body is conveying through the movements; a message that either connects with an emotion or an image in my mind and felt like communication going on. I heard within me saying 'Soul Language' .
Yet, I was resisting going too deep into my being. I didn't want a catharsis, which I had a major one the 1st time. I didn't want to be a crying baby for I cried too much already, and refuse to face the breaking moments again. I resisted healing and opened my eyes. The moment I stared up the ceiling, unexpectedly, I broke down and cry.
In the process, I was crying for forgiveness. Support and help was given to me while the release in me was going on. For a while I was weeping, Catherine came to me with her hands on as she begins her light language, but I didn't know who was that at first, for a few others like Daniw came and help me on different occasions.
And a strange feeling arose within me as I heard her speak. It was as if I understood her language and accepted her message which sounded like an Angel's consolation and advice to me. After that session, I felt blank again, like usual, and somewhat dumbfounded when it's time for sharing, though I had much to share. Words runs through my head yet nothing comes out from my mouth.
2 days later after that session, I had a realization.
The mistakes I made, the sinner I felt I was, trails of sins I felt carried from past-lives has weighed on me. I have been going through self-condemnation, self-punishment, self-sabotage.
As usual, I was applying essential oils. While I was saying some releasing statements of forgiveness, I came into a meditative state.
I heard within me saying that the mistakes I have made is for me to learn to be on the right path. Not exactly the usual judgmental of morally right and wrong which sets myself up going to the courtroom in my mind every time, but the right path that leads me to my divine self.
I learn spirituality from spiritual teachers, from books, from others' spiritual experience, but it's always so different when the learning happens from within. It's so simple yet so empowering.
From teachers, I was taught to embrace our shadows.
I read that Satan Lucifer is the bringer of Light , but why?
I was taught to reach down into my shadows to reveal my light, but how?
I read from esoteric teachings that: "Hush! it is a great secret, but his name is Yeheswah, and he is the Saviour of the World. Hush, tell nobody ever, that is Satan, and he is the Saviour of the World." Why?
My long term questions have been answered, as I sat;
The shadow is necessary to be there.
In the world of duality, and polarity in nature,
Light cast upon an object and created shadow
The shadow points to the direction of the light.
The mistakes made points to the right path to be taken
I realized I've been in the shadow and trying to run away every time when it's too deep down, too dark. I couldn't bear to stay long enough, that I wasn't able to switch to the light or transmute the dark feelings and thoughts.
And I saw that this 'pain' body- feels the pain;
the personality- drama; and the shadow self- darkness;
all is apart from the pure untainted divine self.
Then my logic mind starts to pray for help to be always connected to divine.
But within me says stop, for its not help that I pray for as the connection is always there.
It's an illusion to perceive that I'm disconnected.
I also realize I had prayed from a place of neediness, of lack, of victim-consciousness, not so much from divine power and understanding. So I learn this time on another level not just from books, It's an affirmative prayer of divine connection.
And that divine is contained within me,
and me in the divine.
As I affirm the divinity within, my arms began to move with the affirmations,
translating the words into movements; inner-dancing,
and it felt like a communication is going on within my different levels.
For once, I had a touch or a taste of I-am-ness. And now I remembered.
Pi was sharing many things about alchemy, transmuting and grounding, and one of them is to ground in the I-am-ness, I am That, I am Divine.
Yesterday, 15 Sept, exactly 6 months from the first Inner Dance session, I had a personal Inner Dance healing session with Pi and Daniw. I had another beautiful experience.
Pi told me its a different approach call Bars, that there will be more feeling of the energy running through, not so much of dancing. I was made to lie down and immediately I felt very strong energy pulsating throughout my whole body as I kept still. So strong yet so comfortable, feels like a spa bath.
As Daniw worked on my head, my arms moved in concerto. I felt the energy are like codes downloading and unlocking my body, while my body decoding it.
The involuntary movements are just as strong as my first Inner Dance experience yet my movements are more intricate this time, and I felt lighter than before. I was tearing as I felt the releasing of tension.
I felt I was in the shady woodlands, surrounded by trees, plants and river flowing nearby. I felt I saw Daniw as a fairy angel with translucent wings, her hands on my head and Pi like a fairy elf of some kind dancing, walking around.
While the energy moved my head and feet, I felt my whole body is coming into a flow of harmony. Toward the end of the session, I was made to sit up. And again the energy so strong yet ever so gentle supported me lovingly in the process.
It was then I had an realization, that I have been living so much of my time in fears. And I felt the understanding that my body is a tool for the divine self to work through it. My arms were dancing this message while tears streamed down my cheeks. There was a sense of reverence and surrender- surrender may not be the right word but close to it, till I find the right word I'll put it as that.
I felt this time was really an initiation for me.
The very first Inner Dance experience that follows was a test prior to this initiation.
This whole experience have been very sacred for me.
And this is only the beginning!
I wanted to thank Pi and Daniw for coming back, and I thank God for them.
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