Breaking Walls

The walls of the Outer religion is breaking down soon
The collapse is now happening...(Oh ow!)

Watch this and be the witness...

The walls of Outer religion that protects us out of Goodwill

That served out of the seeming good

The walls that Great Missions are written upon

So tough and strong is breaking down soon!

The walls that separate Us all into divisions after divisions of

brotherhood and sisterhood into strangerhood and enemyhood

The walls that labels this from that

and says "We are not One same breath and spark, star and dust and so 

We don't belong in the same place of mind and thoughts...

And please stay behind the walls as told and taught

Your walls My walls

So cold lonely and separate

Atonement is beginning as the walls comes down

At-one-ment is here now

Alone is becoming Al-one as the walls tumble down

These walls of Outer religion is breaking open and melting in the lava of Love

The heat of Love though painfully hot and burning will not hurt but dissolves the debris of severe pain of hatred 

To wash great pain with some pain 

To clean Great Poison with poison

As the walls crumble tumble and melt down 

As love cools, a rainbow bridge of Love crystallizes 
Bridging and connecting us all

Beating the rhythm as One in Enjoin-ment

Bridging all hearts together in our Inner religion 

Our Humanity Religion of Universal Love  

Rejecting Acceptance Accepting Rejection

Rejection and Aversion; Acceptance and Attraction 

is the same one thing but two sides of the lovely coin balance.

Those who reject you, let them...

Those who feels upset by your presence, allow them

Walk away if you can

Don't feel bad if you will

Don't force your way but ride on the wave

What they have rejected of you in part or in whole 

are but what they've rejected within themselves

And it's also what you may have rejected of your ownself

What we all see is a mirror projection and distortions of ourselves

This "Real Thing" call Love in a universal sense is bugging at us to complete 

the puzzle to our journey of wholeness toward fulfillment

A path that all shall tread

Where some has gone before us 

They've traverse the path

They're here again in disguise of a most ordinary man and woman

to help us to light our lamps of inner truth, as we walk in our blindness of distorted views

In our preferences of withholding and longings, acceptance and rejections

That one day Truth prevails as it lies in between this two opposites 
That truth will be in crystalline clarity for us all to perceive

Where love reigns and all is truly included in it's very own right.

Oh My Goddess

In my most silent abode,

where music is heard with the inner ears

and light is seen through the inner eyes

The inner dance begins in spirals

Dancing to the rhythm of the Goddess' heartbeat

The Goddess begins her dance

To flow, to swirl, to vibrate, to electrify

The way the Goddess gently nudges to wake 

to give form, to exalt, to rise 

From our consciousness of darkness 

To her voice

To her heart, her mind

To our consciousness of Her light

At the Goddess' throne of poise,

Hushing me with her soothing sweet voice,

In Her warm loving embrace, 

Her bosom soft, Her touch tender with Her loving grace

rocking me gently, and I in awe-wonder

Her richness is filled to every corner of arena 

Abundance over-flowing with her Love to the very brim

All swell with Her fragrance of Her immortal beauty

Her immortal beauty, not of this world, 

unknown to our minds, to our visual eyes

Beaming with the radiance and the Grace of The Goddess

Her blessings filled my heart, my being

that led me to the core of Her heart, 

Her joy, Her bliss, Her ecstasy, 

Her Song of Esctasis

Magnificent is the blessings of the Goddess, just as she is. 

In her Magnificence of piercing brilliance, she shook me asunder, 

yet she wrapped me in her most humbled motherliness

Simple, Pure and Unrestrained 

So much Love,

Oh so much Love is pouring through 

How can I forsake Her?

My heart will break if she leaves and she's gone again

A goner, I will be again 

Oh Mother Goddess

I shall not take my eyes off you

My inner eyes sees only You, in your love

I revel in You Oh Goddess

I will fall and I will cry 

without your Love I will die

Oh Mother Goddess, I am your helpless child

Crying, wailing and screaming when I lose You
Without you, a minute seems forever 

I cannot wait any longer as Death seems much nearer then ever.

Without You, your love

Then death is sure to take over

So Goddess, Oh loving compassionate Mother

leave me not and awaken you in me

Let you unlock me and tie me to you

Show me your way, your dance steps, your music and song,

Let me live the way You Live and be yours, held in your arms forever!

-Oh Mother!

-Oh Goddess!

I'm your very own

I'm yours 

In this temporal memory,

Only You I find to live in Eternity

- From Your Longing Child

Seek and hide. Hide and in hiding you shall find

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God

And all shall be added unto you"

How do we survive in this fast-paced world 
while placing our priorities,in seeking the 
unknown kingdom first  while filling our hungry stomachs,  

fulfilling our hearts and minds endless of desires ?

In all that seeking, searching to see,  

and trying to find...

this essence we call Divine.
Some name it the Philosopher's stone,
others say it's the awakening from 
our deep illusion-ed sleep.

Yet the more we seek, the more things 
seemed to hide, the more seeming darkness
than light !


When we don't seek, we don't even know

there's existing darkness that hides.
We don't realize darkness is always there
existing in our minds.
How strange it is, 
that only when our seeking begins,
only to realize total darkness we are in!


Like the process of acquiring knowledge, 
gaining wisdom in life.
We thought we knew it all.
Yet the more we learn, the more
we realize we knew so little, 
for there's infinite things to learn,
to know, to realize.  


We yearn for the light, 
for it's our natural soulful yearning
And like attracts like.  
We are made up of Light 
Science has now proved it. 
We are energy, light vibrating 
at different speed


Like a moth that flies into the fire
to be burnt by the light, 
transmuting to another dimension of life.
We yearn for the flight, 
that enjoin and transmute us 
as we merge as one with the Light.


The feeling of darkness creates illusion, 
And vice-versa, illusion creates feelings of darkness.
Of unknown and imagined fears,
Of loneliness and separation ,
Of losing, getting lost in this game we call Life.


Where is this Kingdom of God? 

Where we are told that all we ever need and want is all there... 

God's lila, God's play, 
The nature; ebb and flow of life,
where growth is constant change
And constant change means stability
Where in this changes of life 
is God's Kingdom laid ?


The Kingdom of God that we all can seek to find.
And through what means can we find?
Because the more we seek, 
the more it seems to hide!


The Kingdom is veiled from our sight, our very eyes.
By closing our eyes, do we perceive light?
By seeking in the dark, will we find?
In hiding shall we find what we are seeking?
Seek and hide.


Like a lost soul in my life for the past years, 
I seek many a psychics' advice, 
maybe to find some light.
Told to me, that I will know what I want, 
that my answer will be clearer
than the the clear blue sky, 
as time draws near.


Now the time is here, but is the answer clear?
I do not know what I want, 
but I do know what I do not want
and I de-cluttered  many things in my life 


Which is the path that brings me to 
the Kingdom of God that I seek to find?
Only have I found which path not to tread, 
through going repeatedly into the seeming darkness again.


I'm still searching that which I do not know, 
and can I truly find?


Hide in the dark to search for the light.
In hiding shall I find?


The Kingdom of God
The Light
I shall find, shall I...?

Finally intolerable

Accepting or Tolerating the intolerable?

Everyone has different levels of tolerance. No one is exactly the same, yet we are so similar as a human family. Tolerance level depends on one's perception, brought-up and habits as an individual, and also one's character.

The character of stretchable elastic Lycra fabric is expandable and flexible to a huge degree depending on the presence on the percentage of elastane. Even the most elastic fabric when stretched, expanded, and spread too thinly, snaps and tears.

In life, when we stretched beyond our limits of elastic fabric of tolerance. When the tear and breaking down in our life happens, does it spells a disaster or a blessing?

A disaster to put up to the worst of life, to be worsted again and again, or is it a blessing of cleansing through suffering, bearing in silence or complains, putting up with what life has to offer in an undesirable way?

We can either come out of that situation looking like a fool, losing all the games, energy and time, or like a tired, battled-out, weary yet brave warrior. How we perceive is really up to us because we choose what we want to see.

Where is this line of what we can or cannot allow, the things in our life to be?

To accept the unacceptable, to be honorable even when dishonored,

to respect even when humiliated?

Do we have all the strength to take upon everything

and be loving all the time despite things falter and fail us?

In the Serenity Prayer, it reads that...the wisdom to know the difference, to change what can be changed, and accept the things that cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This wisdom to know, is like a good sensor. Sensing what is 'right'. Its common sense as we call it. Yet, it's not so common... For if it is, then, the 'commoners' would not appear on the news headline as doing and allowing uncommon deeds in their life all the time...Arrgg...

I feel this sensor is our basic instinct in the world of survivor, and it's our intuition in a hunch of knowing truth out of reality.

Having put up with mostly unbearable things in general for most people, for people around me feedback to me, I came to a point that I was extremely sensitive and extremely numb too. I realized that certain ways of living is unhealthy and is causing me pain and had accumulated fears. But by nature, I just jolly well put up with all the not-nice, until I became overly sensitive to the very last bit, breaking down unhealthily.

Breaking down is so natural for me, so I could not understand people who hold back their feelings or their words, in fear of showing themselves, so they wrap themselves up, falsify their own image as a protective barrier. I understand the part of me that tolerate and bear all kinds of nonsense is also not being authentic.

i became sensitive to people who influence me in reproducing that feeling of suffering. I'm not sure how would it be like for me if I happened to be with people who really really do honor, respect, genuinely care for me not out of their ego or out of getting something in return or out of their responsibility.

Until I decide, no more tolerating the intolerable, I begin to accept the limits of my own sphere in all dimensions, where I can resume to my inner-child unafraid.

So the wisdom to know the difference...sometimes it's so... so vague.

Between the tolerable and the intolerable ones...finally !

Hide Away

Seen a disfigured face?
A deformed look?
Flawed to the point of unbearable sight?

If this is the reason to being hideous, it's well understood.
But what if it's pretty normal looking or even looking presentable
and yet the feeling of hiding away is so... strong?

What's the hiding?

Hideous...hiding...hide way.
Let no one find me
Let me be away from all that sees
Where no eyes can hold me
In a place of no-seeing
No eyes looking,
non-perceiving
here, there
Safe, safe everywhere...

Was that it? Fears? I heard you say.
Oh No! Not only fears...

It's deception, it's self-dishonesty,
self-betrayal and hiding from self what is to be seen.

Buried the truth within,
wrap it up like a gift with pretty ribbons over it
and color papers of yours and my liking.

but what's inside it is,
a chunk of surprises that before opening up
it's not all sweet already.

Something that I'm not willing "TO SEE"
"TO FEEL" "TO KNOW" and what could that be?

It's just too uneasy and mysteriously dark, for me...

Is this a game of hide and seek?
Ah...like God always hiding.
Even we were told that the Divine is in everything,
animate and inanimate, but do we see?
Of cos' God's hiding from me.
And I...
I'm hiding from me...

How long shall this be?
A game of hiding in the seeking
And who's in the hiding and the seeker seeking?

I don't know how to find, with a map or
a compass or A heart of TLC?
What kind of operation is this, can anyone tell me?

So, all that is hidden becomes known,
as my intuition abounds through clarity of vision.

So soon enough. I'll expose Me, Myself and I.

What a wait!
What an awful confusing and mysterious game...
The hideous and the seeker is the one same being...Gosh!

God and I are also one....real confusing!

What a path!
What a game!
Of Hiding Away.

Utter Nonsence

Have you ever felt in your life that everything
just seems like it doesn't make sense anymore?

Everything 'out there' seems so meaningless...pale

I begin not able to understand why this is so as I
understand more about life.

It's ironical.

I wake up one morning and realize that all that I learn, 
all these ideas I heard, that I felt resonance, 
starts to drop away. All the seminars, workshops,
books that gave precious knowledge, 
that stirs wonderful musings and
pondering in me, all seemed colorless.

Looking into the mirror, 
it's but my reflection, years of age,
plain and colorless, 
simply human, flesh and blood.

Looking at the blank wall, 
it's another depth of reflection,
the pounding of my heart, 
the breath I take, the warmth inside of me,
the life-force that runs through my body and beyond,
and the feeling of something much more is opening up.

Something within is trying to get 
my conscious mind out of these ideas,
thoughts and all that sounds sane and clear.
All that I see around me it's the same, nothing changed.
Yet a sense of the moment, of how simple this moment is,
felt so plain yet unusual.

Maybe my eyes have changed, or my inner eye changed.
My sight, it's fading, like the fading of a bloomed flower.

Things seemed to peel off and dropped away.
It's another kind of death I suppose,
but this time nothing grey or depressing. 
Surprised!

It's just spells loud in me that all that is out there, 
is utter nonsense.
It's strange.....

...because it's not a rebellious feeling,
it's a gentle moment of sensing.

The inner feeling of what I feel through 
my five senses is trying to communicate this.

I'm not sure this time it's an entry to my belief 
system or a delete of it.
It's another feeling of being shaken,
of feeling unsure of the sure knowing.

No, I'm not sure.

I've seen people with so much conviction 
towards something, myself included, 
just to find the next moment they do not
have that same level of believe anymore.

Well, it doesn't make sense anymore to me to take
whatever the world gives from out there, 
so it's time to seewhat kind of 'inside' world 
can I reach within to take.

As before that happens, 
everything operates in Utter Nonsense.