Present Life Regression

When I started crying in the inner dance experiential workshop, the 1st image came to me was during my childhood- about 2 or 3 years old. I saw I was reaching my hands out crying for mommy, but was ignored. My mom was there, however, she literally walked away after a while.

My nose was so jammed up with all the phlegm from the crying as the inner dance session started in lying down position, I could hardly breathe through my nostrils. So I sat up, clear my nose with some tissue paper and the healers continue to work on me.

While the facilitators / healers, Pi and Daniw touched certain points in my body, it triggered something unexplainable. Like pushing a button, unlocking what was beneath me. I felt waves of Pure unconditional Love gushing and flooding me, I broke down crying again. My logical mind was watching the whole process, taken aback and it heard the crying. 


It sounds so... so sad! The logic mind even wonder whether am I disturbing other participants, and tries to lower the volume of my cries. Then scenes of the past- this present life time, came to me. From faces of people and sometimes just the emotions associated with the event or person came up and I was releasing all these stored emotions.

In fact, I was not moving much. The energy was running through me and I was jerking and vibrating. When Daniw worked on my hips, the intensity increases. It came a point that I was wailing real loudly, and that was when Daniw held me in her arms from behind. 


She gently pushed me forward and... Wow! I forgot everything! I just had to let go and wail like nobody's business. My logic mind watched, and for a minute the mind was concern with the yucky mucous falling onto the mat, but then it has no time to think further for I was at the peak of my release.

These peak emotions was associated with my relationship with God. The yearning, the pain, the sweetness and all the miseries. Now as I looked back, I remembered what happened about one month ago before this inner dance comes into my life, I was crying and wailing for God in my room. I asked :'Where are U, God?' 'Are U really there?' 'U promise that with one-pointed devotion u will come, and when will that be? 


Are U really in me, in this room, in animate and inanimate objects? Can U show me a sigh? i don't want to know U- God from another person or another book, I want direct experience with U. Or was I not worthy of U? Or I've not done enough? I guess I wasn't good enough, I must have done something bad, I'm sorry....blah blah.... The cries sounds very close to this catharsis in the inner dance.

Something had triggered it that day but I couldn't remember what. I guess that tension was build up for a period of time already while I was asking from time to time: God, where are you? It was to the point of madness that I broke down.

At the end of my inner dance experiential session, I burst into laughter when I was made to lie down. My crying switched to laughter. I can literally feel the energy coming out from my core, at the abdominal diaphragm area. It was so intense that I couldn't stop at all. I felt like it's going to go on, and that my esophagus and throat seems too narrow for it to let out.

As Daniw was coaxing my senses, calming me down at towards the end, she caressed me, humming to the light-hearted tune of :'Somewhere over the rainbows' - one of my favourite song. I felt so good and that she gave me something that I longed for sub-consciously. For in my memory, I couldn't remember if my mom ever did this to me. Slowly, I began to weep and cry again.

I felt so overwhelmed, my senses heightened and I was so taken aback by everything that had happened. It happened too fast. I very much needed space and time to process it slowly, like chewing my food so that I can receive its full nutrients. 


I felt I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to go back to the Inner dance advance workshop either but I was so blank. I express it softly to my partner, and I thought that I didn't want to sound like I'm so troublesome so I just went ahead with him anyway.

Well, after the catharsis, there was so much challenges. This time the challenge is on all levels; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Feeling real awful now, but I know its happening here for my highest good. I'll definitely have a good laugh after I past through all this...

...mmm... when will that be?

Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

My converstion with Pi - Inner Dance

Not resting at home after the catharsis got me really uneasy and frustrated. I took my Faries deck of cards and ask about the inner dance and one card about myself-that card was reverse and it indicates a blockage or a negative side of its meaning which translate to be 'fire' and means a burnout.    Pi on the other line, told me to cancel that out saying that the earth is 3 million years old and so what is this 'burn-out" Then I mentioned to him about the dream I had the last nite. I was on a moving train. There was a man very relax lying on the floor.I went over to ask him what to do with this "burn-out" and he told me to transmute it. Pi told me that I have to learn to transmutation of energies right NOW. He told me that he's not to affirm the 'Burn-out" and that it had to be transmuted.  'Start practicing and discover the ability to change things, convert right away' says Pi.  He said that this begining stage after my cartharsis is going to be confusing for me, the fight of darkness and light within me, and he ask me to be simple and humble in approach. Be simple, put gaps and spaces into between my experience and digest, process it. Then make decisions about myself.  Be relax and say with soft possible energy to cancel out any negativities, and it will normalizes really fast.   He asked me to ground into the I Am-ness. I am that - divine Also do listen to my drreams. He said to do this on a more conscious level and go back to myself.---I feel that's what I'm doing right NOW- going back.   He also mentioned that old patterns will always return, yet just relax into it, letting go of attachments. See things in terms of levels, look for affirmations, signs, and going inside myself, learning to trust and have faith.  There're different levels of spirituality, and the highest is go deep inside.  He affirms: keep sending out positive energy as negative energy comes- its just illusion, and when there is ego and fear into this whole thing, it will close. See what's right and stay more aware Pi shared so many things but I can recalled that much for the moment and this is what he shared; the 3 things asking the universe/ spirit; 1. Ask 2. What to ask, knowing how to ask 3. How to listen

My Inner Dance; My re-birth 15 March 09

From the moment of the Inner Dance preview, I felt some energy flowing in my body, especially at the heart area. Then at the start of the experiential inner-dance session. I felt frustrated because I wasn't moving or dancing like the others. Later, my body begin to jerk involuntarily and I felt so clumsy.

However, the whole process was a beautiful experience for me. I was literally flooded in love. So much love bombarded me that I've no choice but break down and melt away. I had a catharsis. I kept crying and then laughed my heart out.

My logical mind was watching the whole process, unexpected and taken aback. It was such a wonderful release, I felt I was reborn. The whole process felt like I was going through a re-birth and Pi and Daniw are like my Dad and Mom giving birth and delivering me. After the session, I felt so opened-up, my sensitivity increased and I felt like a child.

I also took the inner dance advance workshop. I didn't know I was able to heal so immediately and readily. Pi and Daniw guided me with their patience and love sharing their expertise and knowledge. They intuitively knew what I was going through and gave me encouragement and confidence that I am able to be a healing channel. Now, my involuntary movements become more flowy, like a dance.

I've done other healing modalities before but this time, it is a mind-blowing experience for me. I'm very grateful to Pi and Daniw for this experience of the Divine.


blogs at
www.innerdance.multiply.com
www.innerdance.wordpress.com
www.maianeye.blogspot.com
www.pi-kalimata.blogspot.com

INNER DANCE with Pi Villaraza

INNER DANCE with Pi Villaraza

Inner Dance is the moment when the mind, heart and body find awe in suddenly moving to the rhythm of the soul.

It is dancing from the higher self and moving to the flow of the Universe.

Dance is usually body movements coordinated by the brain but Inner Dance is an automatic and spontaneous movement of the Self that actually catches the ego and the conscious mind by surprise.

"Inner Dance is much like the peeling of masks. Once it is performed, the glue [that] fastens these masks together is released and so like crumbling walls, layers and layers of these masks fall away. We either hang on to them (a useless gesture) or simply let go (which sets us free). Only then can we reach higher states of consciousness, " said Pi.



Inner Dance has been reported in over a dozen newspapers, magazines and internet articles in the Philippines, Asia and the US. It has also been featured in a full-length film documentary by a multi award winning film-maker as well as several television and radio programs.


TESTIMONIALS


"I am here to tell you about a movement that is growing throughout the Philippines, crossing over to parts of Asia, Europe and America. It's called The Inner Dance. It has helped me in my journey to release positive energy to all beings around me, wherever life takes me.
~ Chichi Luciano, Vision Magazine, San Diego, USA

"It was a major catharsis. The release of trapped energies healed my lower back pain, which had been torturing me for more than ten years!"
~ Angelito Vanuoy, Manila

"I achieved a deep release of some emotions holding me back from full self-expression. .. The benefits of Inner Dance were life-altering for me."
~ Angie Olloren, Manila

Will be done

Will be done

What I want

1) to be soft-clay in Baba's hands, to be molded to be transformed by Him
2) to become flower petals offered at his lotus-feet, soft with compassion, bright with knowledge of my divinity and fragrant with pure love


To develop:
1) Faith
2) Devotion
3) Pure Love
4) Patience
5) Perseverance

True happiness

I believe that the purpose of life is to be a happy being, and the goal of life is true happiness, bliss and peace. It does not mean we have to be perfect, it means we move towards perfection by choice and adjusting ourselves over time. Lifestyle and our habits in our life assumes this along with our past (conditioning of this lifetime and past ones). However we can always gather our power of choice and over time succeed in life.

A successful life is happy and fulfilling, although we may still be seeking our directions again over time.

"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those that wander are lost" J.R.R. Tolkien
Having a successful career with lots of money but cannot get along with everyone else can still be unhappy and unfulfilled. So a successful life is a balance life.


A simple and balance lifestyle is not always easy. It does not means poverty living that everything has to be reduced to almost nothing. It means richness in our existence within and without, in all life's arenas. No extravagance, so that one area of life's richness is not over-powering short-changing another area.

Alchemy

Transformation and Alchemy Insights from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan

"I will surrender to the flow of the spiral and trust what I am shown"

"Because of my faith and acceptance, I have been changed. I have learn to accept the state of grace."

"As a white candle
In a holy place,
So is the beauty
Of an aged face."

My 2008

This year's theme seems for me is about 'values'. Learning about it in different aspects of life and challenging my basic beliefs. My values in the material, spiritual, psychological, whether its money or relationships they are all changing to its very depths. Its like 'me' getting a new identity, now a new born yet still in an old body in the same old environment. I've got new eyes, ears and mouth. I've changed my lenses, looking through the world with a new pair of eyes.

Well, it all happens out of one such incident on my birthday. One such dark lie and hurtful truth coming out of someone that really knocks me down, hitting the bottom. Once i reach there I knew I gotta come up again but things can NEVER be the same, I realized. I've grown again! Much bigger this time yet the lessons I took out of this have humbled me and toughen me up. I'm ready to go, met the world with child-like curiosity and more willing to connect to what life may bring.

I'm ready to leave, whatever the situation is, I left and went back inside me, return to my very core.
I knew I didn't do this alone, for there were signs that is loud and brightly lighted up for me that I cannot not see it, that Great Spirit was with me and still is. This incident left me with awe. That amazing power is always communicating if I open to listen. I came out of this pain and hurt only to find myself much delighted, filled with overflowing gratitude, and love. Yes, its love.

I can leave what is not meant well for me, no more struggle within or without. And I can leave but not without taking the lessons along with me. I saw myself, an aspect of myself I thought I knew but I saw it clearer this time round. I fell in love with that part of me, so beautiful I thought, yet that devil in me hated it equally. It says why can't I be more bitchy, get my butt off my seat and shake it, flaunt it. I'm in a classic love-hate relationship with 'me', but love always take over and win.

This time, I admit I won by not controlling but by surrendering to the Great Power and having faith, which is really not easy for me. But its even more painful and difficult holding things and controlling. This is lesson One. Its only my beginning of Surrender-ship with God, the universe, the Great Power, the Silent Observer, the Unconditional Lover, the Immaculate, the Infinite, the Supreme Bliss.

I love U, God.

Flowers

Positive people are like flowers
They give positive expressions of life in their different colors
They leave their fragrances to uplift and inspire


After they are plucked, new enthusiastic buds emerge and waiting to bloom
And if you surround yourself with positive people
Life becomes a Garden!

Worship & Devotion

The other day, one student asks me about "worshiping" pertaining to yoga in the spiritual context. As far as I know, to put it exactly, its a form of devotion in a higher sense, in which the process helps to transmute lower form of love into a higher form of love. Just like an alchemical process, transmuting matter into gold purifying and refining the quality of love in us. Through this devotional process, one can become an enlightened being, and the nerve channels that is knotted at the heart finally opens.

Gift Of Change

" What happens in life depends on who we are in life.
What we experience throughout the day has everything to do with who we are throughout the day. And who I am during the day has a lot to do with how I start it.

5mins spent with the Holy Spirit in the morning guarantees He will be in charge of our thought system throughout the day.

In a single moment, we choose between love and fear, yet the ego speaks first and the ego speaks loudest. The voice for God will not impose itself; it has to be received, made space for, and welcom His comfort at the beginning of the day, then something happens. It's not that we become perfect, but we become more aware. And awareness makes us miracle-ready in a way we would not otherwise be."

- Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change

Life Insights

Life Insights

Recently, I have been sleeping very well after receiving this insight sounding loud and clear in my head:

Keep the peace and love and throw everything else away!


I felt so powerful with these words. It applies to the physical environment clutter,
mind clutter and affecting the spiritual. No extravagance but very filled with richness!

Belle

Have received this guidance from guides through oracle days ago when my friend and I doing some reading:

See with my heart - perceive with compassion

Hear with my soul - perfect listening at the level of the spirit, being full of light. Receiving acutely precisely with clarity and wisdom

Dive deep into myself and love who I become

In the process of becoming, we become who we really are
Becoming the immaculate one

Bhagavad Gita

Its been quite a while I haven't got time to jot down my thoughts these days. Been concentrating on my work, and trying to get my feet on the ground. Recently I've been reading on the Hindu epic- Bhagavad Gita, commentary by Sri Paramahansa Yogananda. Its about a war that prince Arjuna fight to win back his family's rightful kingdom against his other relatives. In this war, Prince Arjuna choses Lord Krishna as his counselor, advisor and teacher and through Lord Krishna he was taught the science and art of Yoga. It definitely inspires me and shook my soul (hopefully awaken it).

In each of us, there's a warrior like Arjuna, despondent to fight or actively fighting all the way with a mindfully clear direction ahead. And for me, this warrior is badly energy-constipated. I'm not saying that I have problem with my bowels, they do work fine, but not where I assert my force or will. With that said, I thought over about how I want to go about making small little achievements in my daily routine, less about earning tons of $$$. Even that was filled with 'obstacles' within and out. So its high time that I have to do something so that this Arjuna within me fights, and fights well!

So getting inspired, I make sure I meditate before I sleep, no matter how tired I am and the 1st thing I wake in the morning. Arjuna couldn't fight because there was so much emotional links to what he will slay but Lord krishna says that only the wise knows that this body is but a vehicle for the soul and not the soul for the soul is perfect and full of light and never dies. For me, its the ties to my bad habits, habits that bring me down and further away from achieving some simple healthy routines!

Lord Krishna advises us to offer all the work, the actions and fruits of actions as offerings to the infinite one so that even if one's work is incomplete, efforts are not wasted and one is not bounded by the bad effects of failure and success. One's humble work like cleaning (like that of a servant) is as great and important as the work of great ones. This is one important part of my evolution, this is Karma Yoga. Karma as action and yoga is towards union and oneness with the infinite. Every work done is offered to God, and all its harvest and fruits are offerings to God.

To think about it, all that we have, is from the infinite source, the universe, including our bodies. What doesn't comes from God? Nothing! God, the pure, unbounded, infinite spirit that is omniscience, omnipresent and omnipotent that exists within you and me does not 'need' anything, yet its us who 'need' so much until we forgot who we really are and got bounded by this chain of death and rebirth. This is trauma, its separation of our consciousness, our forgetfulness and inability to use our brain 100% only using 10%. This is our world, we thought as real.

About Arjuna:
http://joglosemar.freeservers.com/wyg_figur/arjuna.htm

Lemon Lemon

Oh Lemon, sour and yellow
Super-detox fellow
All pulps and juices
Fragrant thirst quencher
Nature's simple healer!

After buying 2 small organic lemons, I've been taking fresh organic lemon jui-ce for about a week, having squeeze a few drops into a glass of water accompanied by a thin slice, pouring plain boiled cooled water over it again as I almost finish. The remaining fruit after cut I kept in a zip-lock bag in fridge for tomorrow's use.


Then another day I squeeze more juices into a glass of honeyed water. After taking, Wow, my throat feels mmm... great! I say, scream, shout, yell and sing that this is no doubt my Favorite drink, its awesome


One evening after finishing the diluted lemony juice , I bite onto the slice of lemon with its skin into tiny pieces then spit out most of its 'remains' swallow the juices and next day my raw and 'open wounded' gum is almost healed and now its completely healed.

Today is the 8th day, I clear my bowels in the morning as normal. Then after lunch, clear again and I observe the stools it contains green stuffs like that of gallstones.

Anyway, I really felt light and very 'stomach comfortable'


Thanks to this juicy yellow-fellow!

Oh! Moon

Night falls, and she appears 
I see her wherever I go 


Her face glowed and hovered over me 
I counted the days she comes and goes 
I have got a date with her I thought so


Sometimes I miss her, when she shy away into the clouds Dimly she glows behind her veils 


Patiently I'll wait till the next time she reappears

Inspirations

"The Intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift."

-Albert Einstein

Moon Lover

I fell deeply in love with the Goddess Moon again

Drunk in the beauty of the Goddess' face

While Immersed and Intoxicated

Fully absorbed by her glowing beauty  and grace

I felt at one with her

For a moment, I thought I am 'she'

But I knew I am not

I am her faithful admirer

Beholding her in my bosom forever

Recently I felt tired doing so many things and not able to rest enough. I got messages from Angels to connect with Nature and to give my cares concerns and worries over to them.

I think there's just so much unfinished tasks at hand, that I end up sleeping late and waking early! And gosh, these days seem to be met with more demands from people. I'm asked to teach my lessons in a way so that they feel workout enough to perspire!
Ha, They didn't know the purpose of building up over time!

I'm juggling with work- study & teach, domestic chores (cooking, washing, cleaning, packing, planning)- plenty over my shoulders, and financial order-what's this right? Its because I'm so bad with accounts that I have no structure in this area and yes, I don't plan my spending budget or save.

So I'm beginning to tire myself out by worrying what, when, how much my next pay cheque is going to be and how am I going to commit to work in improving my house so that I can give Dad a comfortable life... how Nice it would be, cause he toiled so much and now he's aged. "The baby is teaching us about LOVE showing us what LOVE looks like and more importantly what it feels like. The love that pours out from the baby makes everything lighter, softer and more beautiful.
We came here as teachers of LOVE and get enrolled in the school of fear" --- Paul Six

Manifest

In the recent past years, I have notice lots of business and self-development workshops and books use the concept and including techniques in manifesting what you want in your life, working with one of the laws of nature- Law of attraction. Sounds really good and yes if you have a focus mind, it really works! Tested and proved for some.

However, as for me, if I cannot focus I'll not know exactly what I want because I'm so distracted and so I think I may want to lessen the the things in my life first, so I can find out What on earth I really want. So I tried and I did. Just to realize that I want to learn to cultivate wanting less things in my life. Ironical right? I want to not want things- or rather simplify my life. Why? Because I can feel the sense of freedom not having attached to so many things!

It seems to me there are endless streams of things that I want (at first) that may not be what I really need, less the basic needs for survival. I contemplate as usual, and the universe responds in different ways to answer me. From what Doreen Virtue, ( author of many metaphysical books) wrote:


"Balance comes from fearlessly giving as you're guided, and then receiving with joy & gratitude. Its exactly like breathing: both inhale & exhale are identically important. Practice giving & receiving daily, and you will never want for anything."

Answers seems to come from different directions to me. Yes, I digest them and I am still practicing this, trying very hard to plant this seed and Gosh, not easy for me!

Pagan Goddess

Who's your inner pagan goddess?

Isis - Isis is the Egyptian primary goddess. She is known for her sharp wit and ambitiousness when she usurped her throne from her father. She is a regal, brave and proud figure, not to mention intelligent. When her husband Osiris was killed by his brother who had trapped Isis, she bid the servants to escape, taking along her jewels, and she herself left behind to confront Sate.
Take this quiz!

What element Quiz

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)

Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty, right?
Take this quiz!

Praises to the Moon

I am drunk in the beauty of the Goddess Moon  Her sensuality caresses me  Her gentleness soothes me As I gazed upon her  She sings to me her song of a thousand words  When I closed my eyes,  I see her in my mind  She whispers to me Comforting me  That she'll always be there  Watching over me

Inspirations

" The whole air whitens with a boundless tide of silvery radiance...
trembling round the world.
Thompson


"When the moon shines, Brahman shines;
and when it goes, Brahman goes.
Its light goes to the regions of heaven, and its breath of life to the wind."
Upanishads

Goddess Moon....

Her face glowing in quiet beauty  Her soft rays spills all over me  She fills me with her sensuality  My eyes sparkle as I gaze upon her My heart's beating at the rhythm of her song  i found a bond with her,  beholding her in my bosom  My most beloved Moon Goddess

Her Radiance

The radiance of a Goddess' face

Adorned with sparkling diamonds around her face

While she dances in her songs of silence

With grace and absolute perfection

Mother Moon

"From earth to sky, from dawn to night,

I comfort the Earth and her beings."- Mother Moon