Everyone has different levels of tolerance. No one is exactly the same, yet we are so similar as a human family. Tolerance level depends on one's perception, brought-up and habits as an individual, and also one's character.
The character of stretchable elastic Lycra fabric is expandable and flexible to a huge degree depending on the presence on the percentage of elastane. Even the most elastic fabric when stretched, expanded, and spread too thinly, snaps and tears.
In life, when we stretched beyond our limits of elastic fabric of tolerance. When the tear and breaking down in our life happens, does it spells a disaster or a blessing?
A disaster to put up to the worst of life, to be worsted again and again, or is it a blessing of cleansing through suffering, bearing in silence or complains, putting up with what life has to offer in an undesirable way?
We can either come out of that situation looking like a fool, losing all the games, energy and time, or like a tired, battled-out, weary yet brave warrior. How we perceive is really up to us because we choose what we want to see.
Where is this line of what we can or cannot allow, the things in our life to be?
To accept the unacceptable, to be honorable even when dishonored,
to respect even when humiliated?
Do we have all the strength to take upon everything
and be loving all the time despite things falter and fail us?
In the Serenity Prayer, it reads that...the wisdom to know the difference, to change what can be changed, and accept the things that cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference.
This wisdom to know, is like a good sensor. Sensing what is 'right'. Its common sense as we call it. Yet, it's not so common... For if it is, then, the 'commoners' would not appear on the news headline as doing and allowing uncommon deeds in their life all the time...Arrgg...
I feel this sensor is our basic instinct in the world of survivor, and it's our intuition in a hunch of knowing truth out of reality.
Having put up with mostly unbearable things in general for most people, for people around me feedback to me, I came to a point that I was extremely sensitive and extremely numb too. I realized that certain ways of living is unhealthy and is causing me pain and had accumulated fears. But by nature, I just jolly well put up with all the not-nice, until I became overly sensitive to the very last bit, breaking down unhealthily.
Breaking down is so natural for me, so I could not understand people who hold back their feelings or their words, in fear of showing themselves, so they wrap themselves up, falsify their own image as a protective barrier. I understand the part of me that tolerate and bear all kinds of nonsense is also not being authentic.
i became sensitive to people who influence me in reproducing that feeling of suffering. I'm not sure how would it be like for me if I happened to be with people who really really do honor, respect, genuinely care for me not out of their ego or out of getting something in return or out of their responsibility.
Until I decide, no more tolerating the intolerable, I begin to accept the limits of my own sphere in all dimensions, where I can resume to my inner-child unafraid.
So the wisdom to know the difference...sometimes it's so... so vague.
Between the tolerable and the intolerable ones...finally !
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