My 2008

This year's theme seems for me is about 'values'. Learning about it in different aspects of life and challenging my basic beliefs. My values in the material, spiritual, psychological, whether its money or relationships they are all changing to its very depths. Its like 'me' getting a new identity, now a new born yet still in an old body in the same old environment. I've got new eyes, ears and mouth. I've changed my lenses, looking through the world with a new pair of eyes.

Well, it all happens out of one such incident on my birthday. One such dark lie and hurtful truth coming out of someone that really knocks me down, hitting the bottom. Once i reach there I knew I gotta come up again but things can NEVER be the same, I realized. I've grown again! Much bigger this time yet the lessons I took out of this have humbled me and toughen me up. I'm ready to go, met the world with child-like curiosity and more willing to connect to what life may bring.

I'm ready to leave, whatever the situation is, I left and went back inside me, return to my very core.
I knew I didn't do this alone, for there were signs that is loud and brightly lighted up for me that I cannot not see it, that Great Spirit was with me and still is. This incident left me with awe. That amazing power is always communicating if I open to listen. I came out of this pain and hurt only to find myself much delighted, filled with overflowing gratitude, and love. Yes, its love.

I can leave what is not meant well for me, no more struggle within or without. And I can leave but not without taking the lessons along with me. I saw myself, an aspect of myself I thought I knew but I saw it clearer this time round. I fell in love with that part of me, so beautiful I thought, yet that devil in me hated it equally. It says why can't I be more bitchy, get my butt off my seat and shake it, flaunt it. I'm in a classic love-hate relationship with 'me', but love always take over and win.

This time, I admit I won by not controlling but by surrendering to the Great Power and having faith, which is really not easy for me. But its even more painful and difficult holding things and controlling. This is lesson One. Its only my beginning of Surrender-ship with God, the universe, the Great Power, the Silent Observer, the Unconditional Lover, the Immaculate, the Infinite, the Supreme Bliss.

I love U, God.